As Mother’s Day nears, a thought or two about
mothering.
I see lots of interesting
mothering—some exemplary, some not so much—as Bandit and I walk across one of River City's parks almost daily. Here’s a
snapshot of what I saw near the playground equipment on the same day on the same
apparatus, with very different results.
Momma 1 puts her two children (about 3 and 4) in the swings
and then moves to the far side of the equipment to sit on a bench. Neither child is big enough, though, to touch
the ground and neither knows how to pump the swings (even though one is
at least four). They do know how to
yell, though: “Mom. Mom.
Help me,” they repeat over and over and over, each time louder than
before. Finally, they scream to get her
attention. She yells in response, and it
is all downhill from there with Momma hauling the kids back to the car complaining as she goes.
Momma 2 points her two children (about 2 and 4) toward the swings as she stops at the gazebo to pull
out her phone. These two can’t get on
the swings and call to her. But she is
talking on her phone and ignores them.
Frustrated, they leave the playground equipment and head toward the
mother. The younger one, though, sees
Bandit and starts coming toward us.
Now, Bandit is not used to children, and I am careful to keep him at a
distance, but this child is quick.
Fortunately, Bandit barks at her loudly enough to make the little girl
stop, and I call to the child loudly to leave my dog alone. I also call to the mother to get her
child. The child steps back, but the
mother ignores me, remaining on the phone as Bandit and I leave the area.
Momma 3 works with her tiny three year old to climb the
ladder on the apparatus and snake across the downward sloping monkey bars to get to the other side of the equipment. Then the
little girl tries to move across the bars by herself—by
crawling. This is a true challenge
because the bars are five feet above the ground at the highest level with
nothing but wood chips below, and they are at least a foot apart. And this girl is small. But the mother isn’t touching her. Instead, she is at the far side of the bars making eye
contact with her daughter and praising her with each move. I see the concentration and
determination in the little girl. She
does not hesitate and does not take her eyes from her mother’s face. And I sense that this is a parent who has
confidence in her child and a commitment to her child accomplishing this on her
own.
Bandit and I watch, and when the
little girl climbs across the twelve bars into her mother’s arms with a huge
grin, I clap.
* * *
I could make tons of comments about these three, but I'll refrain except to add that I would love to know what Momma 3 was calling to her little girl that was making the child smile as she was risking life and limb crawling across those bars....
